What did the Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer? Cool Ranch!
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm? A little shaken.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
Yesterday I confused the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza". Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend? She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all.
An apple a day keeps the bullies away. If you throw it hard enough.
How do robots eat guacamole? With computer chips.
R.I.P. boiled water. You will be mist.
Guy told me today he did not know what cloning is. I told him, "that makes 2 of us."